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User blog:KevlarNinja/Cryptic Cryptids vs. Vile Villains
Before we begin this blog, the DFW, or Deadliest Fiction Wiki if you don't know that an acronym is, presents "A Fireside Chat.....with KevlarNinja. (Kevlar lights up a pair of ballistics gel torsos with a flamethrower, then sits down in a convenient chair) Oh Hi. Sorry about going 'off the grind." for a little bit. It was just a combo of the fact that this battle is....well, not one of my better battles for this season. It's like a two of hearts mixed into a handfull of kings. That, and, as of late, I was busy playing the new games I got for christmas. My ratings for them: Call of Juarez: The Cartel; good, until I got stuck on that BLOODLY TANKER TRUCK MISSION!!!! (Kevlar throws a nail bomb out of rage. It goes off, a car alarm goes off in the distance) Oh god, I hope that wasn't Omnicube1's car. Anyway, back to the filler, uh I meen 'fireside chat'. So Call of Duty: MW3; Awesome, only I got tripped up by Makarov's voice. I mean, to me, he sounds less like "Evil Russian terrorist and more American campus stoner.......Need for Speed: The Run; the best NFS game I've ever played (which was good, because I was a little worried about the future of the series). Mafia 2; nice work, although I did not care for the ending. Saints Row: The Third; MOST ADDICTING OF ALL! But, I didn't like who they decided to kill off. Who is it? Buy the game! This messege brought to you by GameStop! ;) So, anyway, sorry about the wait. A wait, I might add, that isn't as long as the one for the Deadliest Warrior movie. J'accuse, Shawn Levy and Dan Levine! Anyway, I have to go know, in hopes that Omnicube1 won't shoot me in the back of the head. Bye! Wait, what? Oh, right....still have to do the blog. The Vile Villains: A handful of film's most evil killers, hellbent on destorying whoever or whatever gets in their way! The Cryptic Cryptids: A rag-tag group of creatures unknown to science, but living nightmares to those who have seen them! WHO....IS....DEADLIEST!?!?!? The Scoreboard for this fight: I don't have the time for X-factors for this fight, sorry. Anyway, my edge goes to the Cryptids, for their supernatural powers are going to give them an upperhand. Oh, BTW, the abilites of Jason and Mothman have been toned down for fairness. My next fight will be: ''One of my favorite upcoming battles, featuring two monsters that are forces of furry fury (and I don't mean like a bunch of guys in animal costumes at a riot), able to rip you to peices! That's right, it's Sasquatch vs. Werewolf! Battle Cryptic Cryptids Vile Villians (Don't expect too much of a backstory for this fight, it's too early in the morning for that...) In a cool, foggy wood right next to a beach, the Vile Villians walk in, preparing their next dastardly plan.....not knowing the forces of nature (the Cryptic Cryptids) are out to get them. Suddenly, they hear the shrieking of a deer. Hannibal Lecter pulls out a butcher knife and walks over to check out whats going on. He checks the deer's body and finds it has been drained of blood. Lecter is soon attacked by the creature that did that; the Chupacabra! It leaps into the air. Lecter tries to slash with his knife, but has his neck crushed by the goat-sucker's mighty jaws. Vile Villians Jason, thinking quickly, sneaks up behind the Chupacabra and stabs it in the neck with a machete. Cryptic Cryptids Jason hears a primal roar. He turns and sees bigfoot, who quickly throws a bolder and does something that no one has ever been able to do before...kill Jason Voorhees. Vile Villians The Joker starts to sprint to catch Bigfoot (like anyone has been able to do THAT), but, out of nowhere, a loud shriek disables him. Mothman, the owner of the shriek, comes and finishes the job by flying at top speed right into him, breaking his bones and causes him to hemorrhage to death. Vile Villians Darth Vader and Fu Manchu unsheath there swords, ready to attack, as yet another beast lumbers over, the Tibetan Buru. Fu Manchu charges Bigfoot with his Jian held high, while Bigfoot does the same, roaring and beating his chest. Both seem to be playing a mythical game of chicken, until Bigfoot falls down, head rolling away. Manchu decapitated the legendary apeman. Cryptic Cryptids Manchu now turns his attention to the Buru. He wall kicks off several trees until he reaches the beast. He prepairs to thrust downward, only to be stopped by the Buru's tail spikes. Vile Villians The Buru's life is soon cut short by Darth Vader's light saber. Cryptic Cryptids Darth Vader hears a loud hiss. He turns around and is quickly attacked by a reptoid. The lizardman's claws do nothing to Vader's armor. Vader knees the lizardman in the gut, pushing him back. Vader holds out his hand. The lizardman rises into the air. Vader slowly closes his fist tighter and tighter. The reptoid's eyes start to bulge out of their sockets and he starts to cough out blood. Then, in less then a second, Vader fully clenches his fist, snapping the beast's neck. It's lifeless body slumps to the ground. Cryptic Cryptids Mothman then jumps out of his hiding place in the treetops. He tries to kill Vader the same way he killed the Joker, but Vader jumps out of the way of the shriek. Mothman lands and scans for Vader. He can't find him. Then suddenly, Mothman lets out a ear-splitting shriek of pain. He falls over and let's out a final death rattle. A red light saber is sticking in his back. Cryptic Cryptids Vader walks over and pulls out his light saber. He quietly (sans his trademark breathing) walks away, but not before using his sith lightning powers to start a wild fire to cover up the fight. 'Winner: Vile Villians''' Category:Blog posts